“A Letter to My Past and Present Self” by Sarah Phillips

Some relationships are haunting, like perfume in a scarf. You can’t quite remember when the fabric absorbed the scent, but it has soaked in—reminding you of a memory that you forgot.  I imagine this feeling is true of almost any semi-remarkable relationship that exist during a period of growth or transition.

Those relationships that I had with people and places, remind me of an “older” and imagined version of myself, who had unlimited possibilities…before much of life was decided. At a time when the air was fresh with opportunities, and my skin was softer.

I fantasize about the person who I want myself to remember. 

I suppose I’m experiencing the dance between:

                   expectations

reality                                     hope

But only one of these will win.

Because decisions have been made

And I am me

Who, perhaps, I always was

And in that time of unlimited possibilities, there were many opportunities because nothing much had been accomplished yet.

Perhaps, in the end, it’s better to have accomplished something and to be someone, than to have a world so wide open that no edges exist.

Sarah Phillips is a Californian transplant who currently lives and works in Tacoma, WA. She graduated from University of Puget Sound in 2014 with a BA in Writing, Rhetoric and Culture. She currently works part-time and writes for her blog, The Entitled Millennial at www.theentitledmillennial.org